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Poetry....

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1Poetry.... Empty Poetry.... on Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:57 am

Scipio

Scipio
Chuunin
Chuunin
Okay, nobody hate on me if you don't like poetry but I like writing poetry and I would like to share and get any suggestions to make them flow better.

J~M~L

I know it hasn't been long since I saw you dear,
But to me it feels like a thousand years.
I miss you so much I'm losing my mind,
It feels like I'm frozen in time.

I think of you with every breath,
For you I would face down death.
With every kiss I taste the sweetness of love,
As if you fell from the heavens above.


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2Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:00 am

Oturan

Oturan
Kage
Kage
Nice!

I love poetry. You mind if everyone post theres here? Smile


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3Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:42 pm

Scipio

Scipio
Chuunin
Chuunin
Of course I don't mind, it was what I was hoping for. Lol.


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4Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:06 am

Reiza

Reiza
Academy Student
Academy Student
To make a poem or lyric poem flow better you would have to find your own style and rhyme scheme. I tend to change mine a lot.

Untitled(Quick).


I walk a road plagued with death and devastation
Where the sick need medication, divided while we should be united as a nation
Our trials and tribulations only sharpen the sword we penetrate with
What are we raising other than a destructive generation

In the midst of such sorrow and famine no one takes time to acknowledge
Yet for tomorrow we're planning but not another second is promised
Deception is common and yet my perception has problems
It was a dog eat dog world and now we're the best of piranhas

...



Last edited by Reiza on Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

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5Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:28 pm

tonic41

tonic41
Academy Student
Academy Student
Nice poetry guys... I would try it but I cant even rap...

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6Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:24 pm

Oturan

Oturan
Kage
Kage
lol

*Dedicated to the boy who took his own life last year from godby (my school). R.I.P*

Life~
Nothing left but dispise
A mind full of lies
But a second left in life
Tears role from his eyes

His mother cries
The grim reaper appears with his scythe
He's out of time
Blood spills in the night

But why am I waisting my time
with this rhyme
someone took this boys life
and his name is suicide.

I have about 10 official poems ive been writing. That im actually writing to write, not just kid stuff lol.

Well yea, tell me what you think Smile


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7Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:55 pm

hahavis

hahavis
Genin
Genin
oturan I personally think you should write 4 more lines about the way he killed himself. This way it will have more feelings.

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8Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Fri Dec 18, 2009 9:59 am

Scipio

Scipio
Chuunin
Chuunin
Thanks for sharing guys, glad I'm not alone, lol. Btw, LOVE this line!
Reiza wrote:Our trials and tribulations only sharpen the sword we penetrate with


Beating The Odds

Tears mix coursing blood with fresh ink
Growling with anguish trying to put pain on paper
He weeps words out loud in a whisper
Trying to convince himself it's not him crying
Every breath drawing in more poison
Not cyanide but simple life
He begs for it to be finished

This is the best night of my life
He recites to himself like a creed
Melting the words into his brain
Feeling the doubt flood from his arms
Knowing thats not enough to bring the peace
The doubt will dam up quickly
Staring out the window seeing the chances

He remembers floating in darkness
Wishing to feel it again
Puts on the disguise of a coat and a smile
One to cover the blood
One to cover his pain


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9Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:08 pm

Oturan

Oturan
Kage
Kage
Woh! I gotta do better, all of your poems are deep. Mine are so week ( tongue)

Shocked


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10Poetry.... Empty Re: Poetry.... on Sat Dec 19, 2009 2:10 pm

Scipio

Scipio
Chuunin
Chuunin
Nah, poetry can be about everyday stuff, it's just the way you convey it.


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